Change Your Habits | Change Your Life

Change Your Habits | Change Your Life. Let’s face it crappy habits are what got you here. There is no getting around this! I know this first hand from my my personal experience from recovery from pesky addictions that tried to kill me, and professionally as a decluttering guru.

Let me tell you about a woman in my decluttering community—I’ll call her Lisa. Every January, she dedicates two entire weekends to purging her home. She tackles everything—closets, junk drawers, even her digital life. Yet by summer, she’s right back where she started, stepping over piles and feeling overwhelmed.

When we dug into what was really happening, she said something that stopped everyone in their tracks: “It’s not even the stuff that’s killing me. It’s the mental noise that never stops.”

That’s the truth bomb many of us need to hear. You can declutter and organize your home a dozen times, but if you don’t change the habits that created the mess, you’ll be right back in chaos before the season changes. I wonder if Lisa will accept the fact now that changing habits is what is needed.

I wrote about acceptance in an article called Acceptance Is The First Step to Clearing Mental Clutter, the second is changing habits. Have you noticed that change only comes once a person has stopped denying there is a problem. Acceptance of stuff is my secret sauce. It saves so much energy in the long run.

Like I said I know this firsthand—during my 40 years of recovery and helping others declutter their lives, I’ve seen this pattern repeat endlessly.

Changing Habits Can Free Your Mental Clutter

Habits are running your life, whether you realize it or not. They shape what you do, how you think, and ultimately how cluttered your mind becomes.

Not So Great Habits | The Invisible Burden

Mental clutter isn’t some fuzzy concept—it’s that constant noise in your head. It’s the to-do lists that never end, the should-have-dones that haunt you at 2 AM, and the mental gymnastics of juggling too many commitments.

Clutter in your head is the gerbil wheel in your mind with the gerbil going round and round distracting you from your tasks at hand and relaxation.

You know you’re drowning in mental clutter when:

• You can’t make simple decisions without overthinking
• You start projects but rarely finish them
• You feel exhausted but can’t pinpoint why
• Your thoughts constantly race from one worry to another

I struggled with this myself. During my early recovery, my mind raced constantly and remained chaotic for a long time. I’d lie awake rehearsing conversations that would never happen or worrying about scenarios that never materialized. That mental clutter was just as exhausting as living in a disorganized space.

Your Habits Are the Root Cause

Here’s what most decluttering experts won’t tell you: your physical clutter directly mirrors your mental habits. That pile of mail isn’t just paper—it’s the habit of procrastination made visible or bills you don’t have money to pay..

Those unused craft supplies aren’t just taking up space—they represent the habit of starting things without finishing them. And if you didn’t finish because you think you are not good enough to finish there is that mental chaos.

One member of my 52-week course realized she shopped online every time she felt anxious about work. Her cluttered bedroom wasn’t the problem—it was the symptom of using shopping as an emotional crutch.

Another participant discovered his habit of saying “yes” to every request left him with a calendar so packed he was ignoring the other areas of his life. Is this avoidance? It sure is for many folks. You can find a balance once you change your habits.

These patterns aren’t random. They’re habits that have been practiced and reinforced over time, and they’re creating both your mental and physical clutter.

Breaking the Cycle |Changing Habits for Real Results

So if habits are the problem, changing them is the solution. Let me share what actually works, based on decades of helping people (including myself) break free from clutter-causing patterns. I have forty years of continuous success sustaining the habits I set up years ago and know what works.

First: Identify Your Mental Clutter-Causing Habits

You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Take a hard look at your daily routines and spot where things break down.

Do you:

• Keep saying you are stuck and want to change?
• Know you practice habits that cause you pain?
• Buy things to make yourself feel better temporarily?
• Do you have low self-esteem, make lots of excuses, suffer fits of jealousy?

Make this list without judgment. Remember, acceptance is the foundation of change. You’re not broken—you’ve just developed habits that don’t serve you. Don’t see this as a fault, but an opportunity to change.

Everything in that list can be changed by adopting new habits.

I learned long ago the definition to insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you are stuck and want to make changes stop doing the same old things. Add some new things into the mix!

Change Old Habits by Replacing With New Habits That Serve You

This is where most people get stuck. They try to just STOP a bad habit without putting something better in its place. That’s like digging a hole in your yard and expecting something beautiful to grow there without planting seeds.

Any present habits causing you pain have an opposite habit that will ease your pain.

Just start where you are. Small, consistent changes create massive results over time.

If this hadn’t been drilled into my head by my supportive community about 40 years ago I would likely never have climbed out of my dark hole. A good place to start is to learn your inner truths and stop making excuses why you should not. This is why I made the Excuse Cheat Sheet and wrote another article about making excuses!

Build Consistency Through Community and Accountability

I spent years trying to change on my own, with predictably poor results. Now I know better, and so should you- don’t go it alone. Yes, it can be wicked hard to ask for help, it seemed impossible to me. Ask yourself which is more hurtful staying where you are or making lasting change.

The thing about it is when you find someone having the same struggles you are you instantly feel less alone. For years I thought I was the only one struggling.

Find people who are working on similar goals. Whether it’s a formal group like my 52-week course or just a trusted friend, share your habit-changing journey with someone. When you verbalize your commitments, they become more real.

Use the buddy system, this works great because you can each hold each other accountable. Things go off the track without a solid plan and time line.

Use whatever tools work for you—habit trackers, phone reminders, sticky notes on your mirror. I still use the simplest methods from my early recovery days: a daily check-in with myself where I review what’s working and what isn’t.

Your Mindset | The Foundation for Lasting Change

Habits set the stage, but your mindset determines whether changes will stick. Working with people trying to declutter their lives, I’ve identified the mindset shifts that make the biggest difference.

Radical Self-Awareness Changes Everything

You can’t change what you don’t notice. Practice catching yourself in the act of indulging in clutter-causing habits. When you reach for your phone to scroll mindlessly, pause and ask: “What am I avoiding right now?” When you toss something in a pile instead of dealing with it, think: “What’s the real reason I’m putting this off?”

Try not to let fear hold you back from trying a new habit. What is the worst that can happen? You may slide a bit when introducing new habits. The key is to get back on track when you slip back into old patterns.

If you need help walking through your fears maybe you will find a tip or two in this post Lose the Fear, Do It Scared! Clear Your Mental Clutter

This isn’t about judgment—it’s about understanding. Every time you notice your own patterns, you create a moment of choice. Here is where your freedom lies.

I still catch myself falling into old patterns, especially when I’m tired or stressed. But now I recognize it happening in real-time, which gives me the chance to make a different choice.

The moment I realize I am being sucked into a rabbit hole on line I back out of that site. When people try to push my buttons I say thanks but no thanks and walk away without animosity. I’ve learned to let go of the stuff that doesn’t matter and focus on what does.

Again, these are choices I made. By repeating these preferences they become habits. Soon enough the habits become a part of who you are and you hardly notice you are doing it. Like brushing your teeth. You just do it. It is a great habit instilled in you at an early age.

We Did Not Choose a Lot of Our Habits, But We Can Change Habits Now!

The habits chose us. Maybe these not so great habits played out in the home we grew up in. Was your home chaotic or orderly and peaceful? Was there constant bickering or quiet conversations? Were your role models modeling the wrong stuff?

And then like me – I grew up in a good, loving family, in a nice home where we had what we needed. I was a rebellious kid who did the exact opposite of what I was told to do and this got me in a fair amount of trouble.

Learning why we do the things we do especially when they are not helping us is one of the things Julia Cameron, the author of the Artist Way writes about. She requires an excavation of our past. This is not a quick fix and it is worth every minute spent on discovery.

I teach this in a 52 week course I designed using the exact tools that helped me build and more importantly sustain my magical life. No my life is not without aggravations and ups and downs. Today I use my tools to keep my life moving forward, these are the habits I started in what seems a lifetime ago.

To learn more about the course I teach in my 9 dollar a month membership click here.

These habits usually kick into gear when the ick hits the fan. Some days are better than others. To put it simply this means I don’t have to waste time wallowing in a bad place. Whining changes nothing and it zaps energy.

Embrace Progress, Not Perfectionism

Progress, not perfectionism. Perfectionism is just another form of mental clutter, another way we avoid dealing with reality. Procrastination and perfectionism go hand in hand.

Your mental or physical decluttering journey won’t be perfect. You’ll have setbacks. You’ll fall into old habits. What matters is that you keep coming back to the process, that you don’t give up when things get challenging which is pretty much a given. Hey, this is life.

One of my favorite success stories involves a woman who decluttered her kitchen seventeen times before the habits finally stuck. Why did she succeed where others failed? Because she refused to see each setback as a failure. She saw it as data—information about what was working and what needed adjustment.

Your First Step Toward Lasting Change Starts With New Habits

Here’s what I want you to do right now: identify ONE habit that’s creating clutter in your life or mind. Just one. Don’t try to overhaul everything at once—that’s the perfectionism trap.

Maybe it’s checking your phone first thing in the morning, which starts your day with information overload. Or is it dropping your clothes on a chair instead of putting them away? Maybe it’s saying yes to commitments you don’t have time for.

One Habit At A Time

Choose one habit, then decide on a simple replacement behavior. Practice it consistently for two weeks, supported by someone who will hold you accountable.

This is how real change happens—not through grand gestures or intense weekend purges and changes, but through small, consistent shifts in your daily habits. This is how I went from living in a tent to creating art in a studio in a beautiful home with my puppies at my feet or all our paws in the sand at the beach across the street.

Just start where you are. One habit. One day. One choice at a time. That’s how lasting change takes root.

And remember—you don’t have to do this alone. Community makes all the difference. The shared experiences and support of like-minded people can be the difference between another failed attempt and genuine transformation.

So, what’s that ONE habit you’re going to start changing today?